as my world was spinning…

For the past nine days I have battled Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo or simply Vertigo. This condition is medically described as dizziness due to debris collected in the inner ear; “ear rocks” or small crystals of calcium that are unable to migrate into the ear’s canal system. That is the brief medical definition.

My definition is more like debilitating dizziness accompanied by extreme nausea, a total inability to perform my normal, basic life tasks. My steps were unsteady when I was able to walk and my vision was blurred. In other words no fun at all. Living life in this state has been challenging for me. I have places to go, people to see, etc, etc. And yet simply living in this altered state afforded me some time to reflect. I spent time, appreciating my life and my overall good health. I don’t know about you but when illness invades my life sending me to bed, I begin to focus on life and it’s increasingly fragile reality. Nothing like being flat on your back, or in my case curled up on my side, to make you realize that our health is something to be cherished and our time on earth is but “a vapor.”

So while the world turned around me and I was unable to participate, I made a few personal resolutions:

  • I won’t waste my time
  • I will smile more, laugh more and appreciate exactly where I am in my life journey
  • I will be kind to people (even the ones who get on my nerves)
  • I will tell my friends and family that they are loved and valued more often
  • I will continue to pursue every one of my dreams (even the ones that terrify me)
  • I will thank God with more fervency than ever before, for His faithfulness to me
  • I will be grateful for every moment of every day (life is to be lived to the fullest)

Yesterday much to the dismay of my family members who were concerned for me driving, I was able to maneuver to my church and lead the final session of our intense six-week Bible Study. I had decided that only a return visit to the ER would keep me away. There has been an amazing group of women who have totally committed to the study or merely dropped in for some refreshing for their souls. In six short weeks, deep healing occurred as layers of buried despair were peeled away. We collectively decided to pursue our destinies with even greater passion as we left the pain of our past behind. We laughed, we cried, we encouraged and strengthened one another as we dug deeper wells of worship. We concluded that we would not allow anything to separate us from the perfect love of God. The women emerged from our time together with their peace restored and their voices primed to share a message of hope on any occasion with any woman who has a thirsty soul.

Today I’m doing some more reflecting. This time marveling on how the peace of God was able to steady me when my world was spinning out of control, all around me. Physically the vertigo happened because my brain, my eyes, as well as my ears were not functioning together perfectly. Our balance depends on all of these body parts being in sync. Who knew…

I wonder how many women are functioning in their everyday lives, while their spirits are in a state of vertigo? Are your a bit out of balance? Are your steps unsteady? Is your vision blurred? You might want to check and see if your spirit, soul and body are all in sync. Take some time to do an emotional and spiritual check-up. The great life that is your destiny depends on it.

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